So, what’s this update going to be about? I really don’t know. Can you do me a favour? Glance below these lines and see if there’re words. If there are inform me, as it would be reassuring to know I’d managed to write something.
Ok, here’re a series of hypothetical question, answer them if you dare!
You’re really hungry, starving, you haven’t eaten for like 6 hours. Someone hands you a slice of pizza, it’s your favourite pizza too, smells so delicious, only problem is you’re pretty sure the guy has pee on his hands. What do you do?
You’re just chilling out when suddenly you get taken aboard a flying saucer. The aliens tell you that you’ve 1 minute to prove to them that humanity is worthwhile or they’ll explode the planet. You know what to say! You’ve been waiting for this moment your whole life! You just ate a tablespoon of chilli powder on a dare and your mouth is ablaze while fiery mucus streams from every orifice on your face! What do you do?
You’re at a press conference, accepting congratulations from the world for your heroic deeds in saving humanity from the aliens. The king himself offers you his daughter’s hand. Suddenly a reporter jumps up and asks you if it’s true you consumed half a tab of acid two hours before your encounter with the aliens? Then he turns into a dragon, but you don’t have your +5 against dragons long sword! What do you do?
Your pay still hasn’t come through and you need to pay rent! You ring your employers and they tell you you’re not being paid because you haven’t shown up to work in over a month. You’re wife’s no help, being a cat she is incapable of holding down a job. Why did you marry her in the first place? What the hell? There’s a knock on the door, it’s the debt collectors. Fuck, those bastards are here to repossess the TV! You’re eye falls on the chainsaw you keep running at all times beside the front door, for ‘emergencies’. What do you do?
You’re driving in your car on your way to the big job interview, suddenly there’s a accident! Those people might be injured! You get out to help them and await an ambulance. When the police show up people point at you and start accusing you of driving on the path on purpose. Hey shitfucker who you calling crazy? So what if one of the injured is your ex, what do they know? The police start moving towards you and you remember the car’s stolen and also, fuck fuckity fuck! You forgot about the bodies in the trunk. Aw man this is bad man, shit! Think! What do you do?
Where are you? You look down, handcuffs? Why are you wearing handcuffs? This is a courtroom, but the judge. When did your brother become a judge? Alright, this guy, the lawyer, he’s saying everything’s sorted, just go up there and when the judge/your brother asks you a question you say yes ok. Just say yes.
Your brother turns to you “is this true?” What were you supposed to say again? What’s this in your pocket… a knife, no! The question, the answer’s important. Where did this judge get your brothers face? That’s the question, your answer will be written in pain!
What do you do?
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