1. Go to city
2. Buy book.
3. Sit in park, read book.
4. Girls passing by; "Oooh, Oo iz ziz mysteriou homme avec un livre" (they're French) "Perhaps we should, ow you say, make out avec le beau stranger"
5.
So wish me luck readers, here's some more True Facts. I'm trying to write one of these every couple days alongside with other stuff... Do any writers reading this think that's ok? Surely getting into the habit of writing regularly is what's important. Even if it's stupid? Eh, I dunno, the problem is that to write about something you need to form an opinion on it first, man, I'm too lazy to form opinions, I mean look at me! Anyway, blue:
Blue, one of the most popular colours ever. But what lies beyond that happy go lucky facade? Come with us now, as we explore this mysterious pigment.
1. If someone were to tell you "I'm feeling Blue" you'd probably try to cheer them up. Imagine how surprised Lee Traverson was when, after he said it, the police were called. You see Lee was refering to the music group Blue, whom he had drugged and kidnapped. After a 12 hour stand off with police Lee was arrested and sentenced to life in prison for "Inconveniencing a pop star"
2. Did you know you can tell a lot about someone from their favourite shade of blue? For instance, look at these three circles, they look pretty much the same but are in fact slightly different shades, After a few seconds you should find yourself drawn to one in particular.
Ok, have you picked one? Well if you picked the leftmost or centre circle, relax, you're fine. If you picked the one on the right then stop reading my website. You fucking nonces make me sick.
3. Everyone knows blue and red don't get on too well. Their heated rivalry has been enthralling the world for decades, but few know how the fued was started. Well basically red was going out with yellow for a while, ah you didn't know? Yeah man she's been with everyone. Anyway, red comes home one day finds her in bed, he's suspicious but not positive. She's trying to convince him nothings wrong yeah? Saying all this shit to him, anyway she gets him to sit down and goes to get him a drink, he's sitting, looks at her as she walks out and that's when he sees it.
Green all down her back.
4. Most humans aren't blue. In fact, should you find yourself, or anyone you know, turning blue you should immediately seek medical attention as you are no doubt suffering from hypothermia or a respiratory problem.
5. Blue is the colour of the skies, and the oceans, and the eyes of a girl I once loved many- Whoah. Ahem. But did you know blue is also the colour of the human soul? So says renowned soul hunter TJ McWolfclaw
"Yeah, they come in all sorts a blue", He informed out reporter, "Cept when you got the little bastards cornered, the fear makes em darken see. Then they take on a kinda, purplish, hue."
He then proceeded to spit his chewing tobacco into a nearby spitoon, making a perfect 'ping' noise, which confused our reporter as the spitoon was made of wood.
6. Blue is the colour of depression. One time I felt really blue. It was like I was walking, when suddenly the ground gave way below me and I was hurled into an endless abyss of darkness. I went swimming through eternal fathoms of emotion and blackness and, well long story short I successfully sued the city for negligence, serves them right for not replacing the manhole like that.
7. You know why in fast food places etc people always wear blue gloves or food arrives in blue plastic containers? It's because there are no blue foods, so If a bit of plastic falls in it will always stand out. Why are there no blue foods? What, you think this is 10 true facts about food? Man, it's never enough is it. Just, just go, get out of my face.
8. "I'm blue Dah dah dih dah etc" so went the popular euro dance song 'blue' a few years back. I've got nothing interesting to say about this song, it wasn't very good but at least you could dance to it I guess.
No wait, weren't those guys italian or something? Didn't they rap during the song? I've nothing against Italian rap mind, at least I've heard some that was good. I don't speak Italian but from what I heard it sounded cool and my friend informed me that the lyrics were hilarious. Anyway, point is the rap in this blue song was ridiculous. Which is why I'm ridiculing it right now. Take that music guys.
9. Hey! You know what happened to the Hindenberg? It blue up!
See blue sounds like blew, I, I'm sorry that was terrible.
I, I guess you could say I really blue it?
Well we hope you enjoyed this peek into the twisted gears and cogs that interlock together and help produce our favourite colour. Coming up next, maybe something good?
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