The latest in the Virtua Fighter series, number 5 truly lives up to it's reputation as 'the fighters fighter'. But that doesn't mean you have to be a kung fu master to be good at the game, no, all you need is to follow the advice outlined in this guide.
FIGHT!
CHARACTERS
The characters in this game are a varied bunch of cut throat martial artists, you must be familiar with all of them if you hope to achieve true mastery. Here we have some info on the fighters, along with some of their dialogue from the game:
AKIRA: Ever since being thrown out of a Ryu lookalike contest, Akira has been consumed with one passion, revenge. To this end he has trained night and day, honing his skills in order to become the greatest fighter, in the greatest fighting series of all! One day there will be lookalike contests in his honour, and no one will be barred in disgrace for trying to bribe the judges with oral sex! Unless they're fat.
Before match:
Victory will be mine! (punches through concrete) I'm at least eighty percent sure.
(yawning) Aw man, a battle? I'm already so tired (stretches, suddenly turns to look opponent directly in the eyes) tired from humping your mom all night long that is. She loved it, slag.
SARAH: Utilising the deadly fighting style 'Martial Arts', Sarah is easily one of the best fighters in the game. Speed, power, an array of most deadly kicks. She is without doubt as fearsome as she is beautiful. Also I love those earrings she wears, in fact I really admire all her accessories. Really. She's probably the best fighter in the game. 10/10.
(Sorry readers, I'm hoping that when she reads this she'll realise how much she likes me, then she might answer my letters!)
As witty as she is beautiful:
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win this battle (looks opponent up and down, curls nose) Make that very sure.
That's funny, I heard you were a great fighter. (spins, makes peace sign at camera) I should probably visit my ear doctor.
LAU CHAN Old man Lau should be the greatest fighter, but one thing holds him back, his age. As evidenced by the way he coughs before many battles, he is a sick man, no longer able to survive in the fast paced world of travelling around punching and kicking people. Can he persevere and win before his body gives in to the ravages of the several diseases he has? Or will he die, ashamed and humiliated when people find out the secret he's been carrying within him all these years. The secret that he doesn't know how to do kung fu at all, he's just been flailing his arms around wildly and somehow it's worked so far.
Pre Fight Taunt:
I may be old (whirls arms around, kicks air) but you are ugly!
You are far from learning true wisdom (cuts flame in half with hidden shoe-blade) incidentally, would you be interested in helping me transfer money from my Nigerian bank account?
JEFFREY WILD: The biggest and strongest of all the fighters, inside Jeffrey is a kind gentle man. Sure he may enjoy wounding animals, but it's only so he can nurse them back to health, yes, you may say, but isn't it true that he then goes on to wound them again? Well yeah, but that's only so he can nurse them back to health again, you know, to hone his skills, and, before you say it, he wounds them the third time so that he can give them to the orphans he cares for, so they may learn the joys of nursing animals back to health. Okay, so the orphans are only orphans because he killed their parents, yeah okay you win, he's just a big muscley bastard
In Game Boasts:
I am the strongest, (stamps on ground, roars, displays biceps) look at my muscles!
Ha Ha (waves arms like angry gorilla) It is fun to be strong. Ah 'tis true what they say, to crush the innocent is the finest pleasure of all!
KAGE-MARU: Being a ninja, kage maru's natural enemy is the pirate. HA HA, did you see what I just did? Pirates! Just imagine, a ninja fighting a pirate, they're natural enemies! ha ha, oh god.
Anyway, Kage is a such a crappy ninja he should be called a nonja. No matter how many different button combinations I pressed it was impossible to make him melt into shadows, throw ninja stars, deliver messages to his opponents via tiny robot or even assassinate a shogun. Sure he can do flips, but so can Robin, and do I have a poster of Chris O Donnell on my wall? Not since last Wednesday! Poor show Kage. Fag.
Battle Cries:
Niiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnn(backflips)nnnjjjjjjjjjjaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
The way of the ninja is really tough (throws knife through butterfly) bet you couldn't be one.
LEI-FAI: A devout shaolin monk, when he's not competing in martial arts tournaments Lei Fei can be found balancing on his finger tips for days at a time, carrying buckets of water up staircases only to pour them into a resevoir which carries the water back to the bottom, being at one with the universe and practicing air guitar in front of his mirror, he's getting pretty good!
After The Match:
That was (changes pose) easy (changes pose) why don't (changes pose) you try (changes pose) another time (falls over).
Looks like you 'Became One'. With my fist! (turns away from opponent, winces and places fist in ice)
PAI CHAN: She's Lau's daughter! Aww, she wants to follow in her fathers footsteps! Sounds perfect right? wrong. There's just one thing marring this little story, this perfect picture- of deceit!
Yes that's right, in the course of my investigations I discovered a few interesting facts about our friend Pai, or should I say Pui! That's right, Pui Ling, a professional actress from a small town in Tsingtao. Down on her luck, she got a mysterious job offer, pretend to be this girl Pai, fight in a few martial arts tournaments, do a few interviews and get paid a fortune. She's living from day to day, she's not going to ask any questions, no, the girl did what any of us would under the circumstances. She's not to blame.
But what of the original Pai, what happened to her? Well my friends, therein lies the mystery, the dirty secret hiding behind the golden Virtua Fighter facade, for you see THE VIRTUA FIGHTER TOURNAMENT IS BLAMELESS. THERE IS NO MYSTERY. I AM GOING TO RETURN TO MY FAMILY WHO I LOVE. LETS ALL ENJOY THE VF FIGHTS!
Threatening her Opponent:
I may be a woman (punches air, does high kick) but that doesn't mean I don't like fighting!
Although I do like fighting, I like kittens even more (kneels down to embrace group of kittens) tee hee, oh how they delight my tiny woman brain.
LION RAFALE
As a young, blonde, French boy Lion dreamed of one thing, becoming an accountant. His parents however had other plans, he was to be a fighter. Every day Lion would run away, find somewhere secret, open up his maths books and start busting those numbers, but his parents always found him and dragged him off to fighting school. No matter how much he begged and screamed they wouldn't listen, he was to be a warrior "Why do you think we named you Lion?" his father would ask, and that would be that.
What his father didn't tell Lion was, he couldn't even remember why he'd chosen that name. He'd woken up after a nights boozing and found out he'd made a bet with his enemy, Pierre McFrench, that he'd call his son Lion and train him to be a fighter. No way was he going to give that McFrench bastard the satisfaction of winning the bet. Besides, after a few years he forgot about his dreams of having an accountant son.
Get ready to fight:
Yeah yeah, let's do this (spin kicks, punches air, dances a little) hey, do you ever think there's more to life the fighting?
That was a pretty good battle (helps opponent up) you wanna maybe grab a coffee later? No pressure!
That's all for now readers! Next time we're gonna have some more fighters and some important battle tactics (sneak preview, punch and kick your opponent in the face)
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