FIGHT
VANESSA LEWIS
Large breasted Vanessa fights for no other reason than a love of combat, she has travelled the world engaging in streetfights against all manner of characters- Robotic skeletons with swords for hands, three eight year olds standing on each others shoulders and carrying uzis, one time she even beat up 17 Lion Men and a Panda Woman (furry convention) This all makes her choice to leave her breasts pretty much completely exposed during battle even more puzzling. Sure it distracts the occasional fighter but, hey lady, you see that ninja? The one staring at you while licking a blade? He learned how to retract his testicles as a form of self defence 17 years ago and he still hasn't unretracted them. You might want to start wearing some sort of protective shirt.
In the heat of combat:
Heh, another fight (without looking swings her arm out, braining a curious monkey) Lets go!
I totally won that battle (turns to camera and bends over, winks and blows kiss) hey, ever notice I've got boobs?
GOH HINOGAMI
When eccentric billionare Rudolph Worsmt-Nuffikin assembled a team of the most evil scientists ever, then instructed them to create the ultimate fighter, people called him eccentric. When he later realised he'd made a terrible mistake and rushed to their secret lab of evil, only to find it mysteriously disappeared as per his instructions (he actually specified 'mysteriously' not just normally dissapeared) they called him a madman. But when his creation of evil single handedly defeated Stalin in unarmed combat, thus defeating the communist menace before Joseph McCarthy's Doombots could start rolling of the production line, they called him a hero and a patriot. The lesson? I really don't know, he's a talkin' zombie who does Judo, and maybe that's what really matters.
Heed His Threats:
Little girl, you are not ready to battle with me (relaxes, starts rolling a smoke) don't worry, take all the time you need!
With the power of Judo, I can defeat any enemy (pulls out tiny Japanese flag) Japan number 1!!!
JACKY BRYANT
Growing up under the shadow of her illustrious sister, Jacqueline Bryant always felt second best. No matter what she did it always seemed like Sarah was the one who got all the attention, all the praise and all the boys. When they sparred together Jacqui could never quite keep up, her sisters fancy footwork and razor sharp reactions overwhelming her, try as she might.
It was after one such session, with her body pressed down into the mud, held there by her sisters firm buttocks, shapely and ripe, promising untold pleasures and - Woah! Anyway, It was then that she reached the end of her tether, she had had enough, something must be done.
She considered her problem, her sister was superior in every way, no woman could defeat her! It was hopeless, but wait! What if?
One year later a new figure stepped into the Dojo, confident and pretty, with a certain sassy masculinity, this was the new Jacqui. You see she had realised the only way to defeat her sister was to harness the natural superiority of the male sex. It took many hours of painful surgery but the new 'Jacky' Bryant was ready to defeat his sister, and prove she was every bit her equal, no, better!
Unfortuantly it didn't work, Sarah continued to trounce her new brother in every battle and Jacky regretted his decision every day. Perhaps if he wins this tournament he can make amends, with himself.
He Says Things!:
Speed beats power everytime!(dances around, kicks) That's what I keep telling myself anyway
Wait, hold on, so you're saying paper beats rock? (looks at fingers in confusion) That means I've been a ghost all along!
EL BLAZE
Lucha Libre fighter El Blaze was hanging out poolside when he got the call, the new tournament was starting, they wanted him to fight. Looking at his butler with an expression of contempt bordering on disgust he asked the question, the answer of which was the only thing that mattered. "Do they still give you those official tournament T Shirts, even if you lose?". The butler nodded in the affirmitive. Whistling for his private helicopter, which was always on hand and summoned by whistles, El Blaze donned his best wrestling mask, it was going to be a good weekend.
Taunts:
With my acrobatic wrestling style (backflips into a summersault) no one can defeat me (cartwheels around ring, hugs adoring fans) Woaaaahhh!! (gets tangled in ropes comically)
I love fighting! It's good excercise, and healthier then sitting in front of the TV all day! (holds up cereal box) eat Luchios, they're Luchtaculous!
EILEEN
With her pixie like hair do, adorable monkey fighting style, heart full of innocence and spunky attitude, Eileen is a refreshing breath of fresh air in the sometimes stale world of Virtua Fighting. That only makes the sight of her being brutally manhandled, kicked over and over in the head, snapped over the knee of a psychotic giant and thrown into electric walls all the more
Listen to her proud boasts:
I may be tiny, but my heart is filled with positivity, and that's enough to win any battle (does little nod) Especially the battle against the filthy Zionist menace.
Hey I won, can you believe it?(looks around at audience) seriously, this is pretty surprising, what happens now? I, I fight someone else? haha, yeah I- (starts looking increasingly alarmed) you're not joking?
Ok, so next time we're gonna round of the rest of the fighters, plus some combat tips!
0 comments:
Post a Comment