More Like Mugaybe

We are not going to give up our country because of a mere X. How can a ballpoint pen fight with a gun?

Robert Mugabe-June 2008

Stirring words from Old Bobbie Mugabe there. A true believer in democracy who knows that opposition parties are secretly funded by white imperialists and the only way to stop them is through sytematic murder, beatings, rapes etc. Come on Mugabe, we all like that shit but you gotta do a better jobs coming up with excuses, this isn’t the nineteenth century, us whites aren’t about that colonising stuff anymore, we just want everyone to live in a happy world where you can get a cup of coffee anytime of the day and night, surf the net and have some beers occasionally. Bobbie, Why must you place your foot on the tail of the metaphorical kitten of our dreams Bobbie? We used to love you! See: Oh well, I’m going to have to give you a B-, good dictatoring, could be better.

Anyway now that Zimbabwe isn’t exactly living up to it’s breadbasket of Africa title anymore you gotta wonder who is supplying the Africans food. If it’s you could you maybe post in the comments so we know? I have basically no idea here. See it turns out that a lot of other people who should be making food started making biofuels instead for when we run out of oil. when the world screeches to a halt, planes start tumbling out of the sky, the rivers run with blood, the rapture happens but so does ragnarok then Odin and Thor team up to fight the four horsemen, Frost giants ripping the faithful Jesus loving rapturers out of the sky and hurling them and Egyptian crocodile men…

Shit, I’ve no idea what I was talking about originally, but nevermind, wouldn’t it be cool if every one of these end of worlds happened at once?! You think the different gods are aware of each other? Would they know what was happening or would it be like when you get to your seats in the cinema and someones already sitting there? “I’m sorry but could I see your ticket? Hmmm, mine says M24 too, where’s the usher.” Or do you think they’d just instantly start fighting it out. Then while, for example, Jesus has Buddha in a headlock (I don’t think Buddhists have an equivalent myth but just go with it) he gets distracted by something, what is that, you see it? Of in space, wait that’s not an angel it’s…

Boom! that’s the scientology space battle fleet arriving, ripping through space, a vast battlefleet powered by the souls of a trillion screaming ghosts (again I am assuming I understand how these religions work) “Whoooah shit, it’s on now” screams Jesus as he tosses a shotgun to Baron Saturday “Let’s lock and load.”. The Baron doesn’t say what he’s thinking which is, did Jesus say Lock and load ironically? He must have, but even then it’s not cool. I mean the robot said it in that Star Trek movie, and that was years ago, no he doesn’t say that, he instead says, “look’s like it going to be a bloody Sunday.” Then the battle to end all battles begins?

Hmmm, I dunno, maybe some theological sholars can help me out. Anyway, my point is, I know we all love oil and it’s great (and I’m not being sarcastic here, well a little, I do love being able to fly places cheap etc) but I think eating is pretty fun too. I know what you’re going to say here ”look at those Argentinian rugby players in the movie Alive, they had to resort to cannibalism and it worked ok for them!” Well all I’m gonna say is that sometimes movies aren’t a completely accurate retelling of events. Those Argentenian rugby players had a pretty traumatic time and I for one wouldn’t want to go through it. If you still think cannibalism sounds fun then I hope you like my blog, Armin Meiwes. You sad disturbed man.

So, how about we don’t turn all our food into petrol, maybe try to find something else to use as fuel and maybe, just maybe, we, and this is controversial, chill the fuck out as people and stop making and consuming so much shit? Maybe slow down a little folks, after all, life moves by pretty fast, if you don’t stop to enjoy it sometimes maybe you’ll miss out. And while I’m on the subject, this summer, action is spelt WACKY. Then Adam Sandler flips out and screams at an old lady and we all laugh till our mirth has drowned out all our thoughts and hopes forever.

Uncovering the Homosexual Agenda

So in the finest traditions of blogs, I assume, I’m gonna comment on something someone said in a blog about another blog which was talking about what someone said in a different blog and etc till everything is destroyed in a nightmareish vortex, sorry blortex. anyway, over on Mighty God King he was talking about hate speech law and stuff. There was a link to this letter which as you can see presents us with a very serious problem. Namely, the homeosexual agenda is out of control and destroying our children and… Well I’m not sure but morals!

So after all this reading about the homosexual agenda, ok so I just read that article, I realised I still have no idea what this agenda is. Which is weird when you think about it because I’ve heard people complain about it a lot, you’d think someone would explain what exactly it is. Ok, so what do we have in this letter, well, there is that reference to NAMBLA at the end. But NAMBLA are pedophiles you say, not homesexuals! That’s true, but you’re clearly forgetting about the binding Treaty signed and ratified by the leaders of the pedophiles and the homosexuals wherein the pedos lend their political muscle in support of the homos agenda, in return for which the homos promise to hold the door open for the pedos.

Don’t ask me to explain anymore about it. This door is another thing I’ve heard lots about but never actually seen, all I know is, when someone, lets say marijuana and gay marriage (they’re a couple), gets through that door they immediately push the host (Shurgunoth, protector of children) out of the way, giving their friends (heroin, orgies for six year olds, Mr and Mrs Bestiality and the rest of the gang) the opportunity to run in through the door and dance and party. Meanwhile everyone else in the world sees this and cries and pulls at their hair screaming “There’s nothing we can do! We left the door open, open. Now the armies of Lucifer are free to march to war. I can already hear the dreadful wailings of their bone flutes That accursed portal has doomed us all”

So leaving aside the door for the moment what else of substance do we have here. Ah, there’s a reference to the homos camps. No reference to what happens in the camps but camps are good, if someone has a camp you know they’re the bad guys, people love that shit, Steven Spielberg made a movie about the Nazi concentration camps and Spielberg knows what the people like. Then there’s the WW2 POW camps, exciting adventure, manly men working in the hot sun, making elaborate plans, putting on shows, communal showers, leather, David Bowie kissing a Japanese officer… Hmmm, I think I can see where he’s going with this but I’m not quite sure. Plus that stuff was like 50 years ago, what the hell does it matter nowadays when we have microwaves and bluetooth etc? I’ll tell you what it matters, not a jot!

So far pretty dissapointing, these sodomites are obviously a tightly knit well diciplined organisation to keep their wicked schemes guarded so. But I’ll find you out yet buggerers, I merely have to study Rev Boissoin’s text some more to learn of your agenda.

Oh and this is nothing to do with anything but that’s the guy who wrote this, Rev. Stephen Boissoin, get it? Boissoin like Poisson, french for fish, that’s right, Rev Stephen Fish! Ha, what’s the matter? You upset because people laughed at your stupid fish name in school? “Oh mother, the gay boys keep laughing at me because my name is tenuosly connected to fish. Boo hoo hoo.” Well don’t worry, we don’t make fun of peoples stupid names here.

To be honest I can’t really find anything concrete about the agenda here, I think that this might be a mystery beyond my powers of deduction. However there were a few more sentences that caught my eye.

My banner has now been raised and war has been declared so as to defend the precious sanctity of our innocent children and youth, that you so eagerly toil, day and night, to consume.

I love how the gays have nothing better to do then toil day and night to destroy the kids sanctity. I mean, logically shouldn’t they be spending at least a little of that time having sex with one another? I’ll take your word on this one though Fishy. However I do have to ask how you came about this information. Now unlike some people I’m not going to suggest you’ve installed cameras into the bedrooms of the worlds gay people in order to monitor them, that would be crazy. Actually wait, how about we just do that anyway!

Face the facts, it is affecting you. Like it or not, every professing heterosexual is have their future aggressively chopped at the roots.

I honestly have no idea what the hell you’re talking about here, however it did make me think of a giant gay lumberjack so I guess that’s ok.

It's time to stand together and take whatever steps are necessary to reverse the wickedness that our lethargy has authorized to spawn.

Again I’ve nothing clever to say except that I deeply love this sentence. Also, somewhere out there our lethargy is stamping a form X-789, permission to throw a puppy of a cliff, someone has to put a stop to it’s blatant authorising of wickednesses.

I really have to stop now. Suffice to say the only way that letter could be any crazier would be if it had been written by Nazruloth, the fourth demon lord of madness who rules his undersea dominion where the pain dancers… wait, undersea? Boisson? Noooo…. *sound of blortex ripping*

where I left myself

Hello to anyone who may be reading this and welcome to my blog. You should feel honoured, as this blog will no doubt go down in history as one of mankinds greatest achievements (just above landing on the moon and just below fire). Ok ha ha I’m just joking, this is really going to be a jokey fun blog! Or maybe not. To tell the truth I wanted somewhere where I could post fiction I write, assuming I write some, and get feedback as well as somewhere where I can post whatever I want in order to help me get into the habit of writing regularly and better then what I’m doing now. Me no good with words.

So I don’t know how this will turn out, hopefully I’ll come up with some stuff and get some words of wisdom and etc from people. If it all goes horribly wrong at least this will stand as a chronicling of one mans descent into madness and serve as a morbid curiosity. Either way it should be mildly amusing to someone! Horray!

Also a bunch of people on the pwot forums started blogs which seemed fun, and I got tired of staring in the metaphorical window looking sad with my big blue eyes all alone. Won’t you guys let me join in your fun games? Sniff.

Yes anyway so, about me; Well I tried to write a description but I ended up with a kind of internet meta biography. Seriously, it included the sentence “I enjoy media.” so very, very vague. You people can just read what I write and enjoy it okay? I don’t want to hear anymore of your crap.

And now to start us off here’s a thing I wrote yesterday during my lunch break, enjoy! By the way, I realise sentences shouldn’t start with and, but have no idea why!